From my experience and from what some clients have struggled with, finding, or having a purpose is critical to personal satisfaction. We tend to be meaning makers, so it’s understandable that we seek existential answers from life.
Figuring out a purpose may come easily for some but it’s difficult for many others. One thing I see that doesn’t help is putting pressure on oneself to figure it out. If you’re consumed with finding your why, the pressure can keep you from seeing it.
We often have the idea that our purpose is some lofty thing we articulate like a mission statement, and sometimes that’s true, but it can be in our everyday acts and impact as well. Something not as easily articulated. Oftentimes it’s right under our nose and we cannot connect the dots.
Take a client of mine. One thing he said that would give him more meaning in his life would be to serve less fortunate people and communities. From his reply, I gathered that he felt he was not doing that even though he and his wife provide shelter for less fortunate people. When I helped him connect the dots, he did say he thought about it and realized it afterward too.
Sometimes our purpose is difficult to find, or express, because we require more experience or exploration with our values. I believe our values provide insight to our purpose, something that can change over time.
If you’re still wondering about your purpose, here are some things you can try to figure it out:
Replace pressure with curiosity. When you’re in a place of curiosity it’s easier to connect the dots.
Be still. Sometimes being still and listening to our inner voice reveals our purpose.
Look for themes. Look for the themes or patterns in your life e.g., leadership. Recurring themes can point you to your why.
Follow the whispers. Pay attention to your instincts and what it reveals.
Avoid feeling self-betrayal. You may not know your purpose, but feeling self-betrayal is a sign your off purpose. Sometimes we figure things out by feeling the opposite.
Ask valued friends. In the YouTube video “A QUICK Way to Find Your WHY,” Simon Sinek suggests asking your trusted friends (not family or spouse) to articulate your value in their lives and for you to feel an emotional response to their answers (see the full video for details). Sinek says you’ll probably not likely to get the exact words of your why, but you’ll get in the ballpark and if you ask multiple friends you’ll generally end up with similar answers.
Identify and clarify your values. Look at your everyday acts and impact see what it says about you and your purpose. You can also ask yourself:
1. Who do I like to help and why? What do I like to help with?
2. What would bring more meaning to my life?
3. What, in my life, would I fight for?
4. What do I want to be my legacy to be when I’m gone?
Hopefully, you get an idea of your purpose from these suggestions. I’m sure it helped clarified some values at the very least. Living our values can be our purpose. No need to further intellectualize it.
If you’d still like to explore your purpose and would like some guidance, fill out the form for a Get Acquainted Call with me.
Best,
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